Ceenoa

happiness in the small moments

Underneath my skin, vicious things lie

Underneath my skin, vicious things lie
green envy
red rage
white pain
blue loneliness

they wriggle like worms
dug up from the dirt
trying to burrow back to the haven of the dark

as they scrabble in their desperate turmoil to not be seen
they create, in one ridiculously sublime moment
a pattern of iridescent colour

green
red
white
blue
Underneath my skin, beauty lies

© ceenoa

* In an attempt to make something dark more palatable, I amended the original poem to a more positive ending – sometimes I even believe it*

The Original Version

Vicious things lie underneath my skin
green envy
red rage
white pain
blue loneliness

they wriggle like worms
dug up from the dirt
trying to burrow back to the haven of the dark

as they scrabble in their desperate turmoil to not be seen
they create, in one ridiculously sublime moment
a pattern of iridescent colour that hides the dirty truth

green envy
red rage
white pain
blue loneliness
Underneath my skin, vicious things lie

© ceenoa

Claudette

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14 responses to “Underneath my skin, vicious things lie”

  1. Ruth Avatar
    Ruth

    Great poem! I think on refelection I prefer the original ending, but it certainly works either way 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Claudette Avatar
      Claudette

      Thanks muchly Ruth. I think the original is more true to how I was feeling.

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  2. Lily Avatar
    Lily

    Beautiful. Although I would have liked to have read the original ending, I still love this.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Claudette Avatar
      Claudette

      Scroll down the post, I have put it in there.

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
      1. Lily Avatar
        Lily

        They both work remarkably well. But the original speaks much more to me.

        Liked by 1 person

        Reply
        1. Claudette Avatar
          Claudette

          I think that is because that was how I was feeling when I wrote it – it got imbued in the words. Then I decided that it might be a bit dark for some, and rewrote it with a positive spin. Just glad you liked it. 🙂

          Liked by 1 person

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          1. Lily Avatar
            Lily

            The beauty of the poem IS that in works for whatever mood you’re in. But I also love the fact that you paid thought to your readers by writing an alternative ending. 🙂

            Liked by 1 person

            Reply
            1. Claudette Avatar
              Claudette

              Well, just cause I’m in a place doesn’t mean I need to drag everyone else there too (plus, sometimes I like to wallow on my own)!

              Liked by 1 person

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    2. Claudette Avatar
      Claudette

      Oh, and thanks for the beautiful 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  3. lindywhitton Avatar
    lindywhitton

    Either way works – depends on the day! I have to say we all have both – the vicious and the beautiful- and some days one shows more than the other. Hope today the was full of beauty and the vicious things lay still.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Claudette Avatar
      Claudette

      Thanks Sis. Sometimes we get both – in the same dy 🙂

      Like

      Reply
  4. Osyth Avatar
    Osyth

    This resonates. Will resonate with many. Whether darkest or lighter the ending will rather depend on the reader’s mood …. I like the choice.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Claudette Avatar
      Claudette

      Thanks Osyth. Sometimes it is hard to decide which way to go – so I just decided to offer both – life is about balance after all!

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
      1. Osyth Avatar
        Osyth

        And the eternal quest thereof 😉

        Liked by 1 person

        Reply

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