G & T (Gratitude & Thankfulness)

Nope, never drank Gin – or Tonic.  🙂

I read a delightful post today from Kat over at  Dandelion Fuzz about Thankfulness and it has prompted me to do my own.

I am grateful today for:

  • being woken at 6.30pm by my 7 month old grandson, hearing his burbling and seeing his smiling little face as I gave him his bottle.
  • seeing the sun rise – the light was magical
  • being able to share my silliness with my 2 wonderful children, and they don’t get embarrassed by me (or if they do, they don’t admit it!)
  • having a camera, so that I can create photos that I enjoy (and remember those moments for much longer than my brain usually retains things for!)
  • instagram – makes sharing my photos fun, and seeing other peoples amazing photos is fabulous.  It wasn’t so long ago I was not a fan of instagram, I couldn’t see the point of it (and I still don’t understand why you would have a profile full of selfies every second shot, did you forget what you looked like?)
  • my morning latte coffee – the only cup I have each day – it may only be Nescafe, but I enjoy it (I just wish they would bring back the Salted Caramel Latte version, it was super yum)
  • colour – I love it, from the subtle tones to the flagrant flares

gladiolicloud-highlights-1the-ram-next-door-3camellia-1

I’ve been thinking about…happiness

I’ve been thinking about happiness.

All the different ways we humans try to find it, strive for it, keep it, pretend about it and encourage it.

There is so much in social media about “how to be happy”, “do this to be happy”, “blah, blah, blah happy” – and some of it is worthwhile, a lot of it is irritating, and large part of it is just advertising for “the next big thing”, or indeed, the last “slightly-small-thing-that-has-been-rehashed” – and most of it is absolute rubbish!

Despite attempts by many people to improve social media with positive images and messages (which, actually, sometime have the complete opposite effect on me), I don’t think you’re going to usually find meaningful “happiness” on the internet.  If you have been one of the lucky ones to do so, I congratulate you.

So, I’ve been thinking about “being happy” – and what does that mean to other people?  I have a cousin who famously/infamously (well, within a small portion of my family anyway) said “I don’t do happy”; part of me admired that and part of me was appalled.  The expectations that we should present a happy facade, most of, if not all of, the time has always been a see-saw contradiction for me.

Let me tell you what I mean….

A while ago, well a few years ago actually, a new person started where I worked.  They came with an attitude of “happiness” – by this I mean that if you asked them how they were (as you tend to do with those you work with) you would get “extraordinary, fantastic, great” or similar descriptives.  They explained that they wanted to look at the world positively, to stop being as negative as they had been, and had decided to do it this way.

Ok, that sounded like a good idea, I thought, I might try that.

So I did, for a while.

For a while it made me happy, but then I started to feel deceitful, and became resentful of saying “I’m fine, things are great” when I really didn’t feel that way.  Was it wrong to tell the truth about how I was feeling?  Did I have to try and make other people feel happy by telling them what they would prefer to hear, rather than what I wanted to say?  Was my state of mind, my happiness (even when I wasn’t really happy), less important than theirs?

I came to the conclusion that, ironically, sometimes my happiness depends on me not pretending to be happy!  I don’t need to be the doom and gloom of the party, I don’t need to bore you with whatever is making me unhappy, but if you ask me “how are you?” on one of those days, you’re going to get a variable answer – depending on where you sit on my “closeness” scale.

I want to be positive, and I am practicing and becoming better at it, because being positive in thought and actions does have a good impact on your life.  Even when it isn’t completely true it can still have meaning to me, when I know that I am trying to reach a level of “feel good” but I just need a teeny bit of self-pretend motivation to get me past the bump on the path.

Being free to be true to myself, and speak truly about that, is the base of my happiness … and I won’t sacrifice that just to make someone else happy.

Little Bursts of Creativity

For a long time I haven’t made any jewellery, but in the last few weeks I have felt an urge to start playing again.

I’ve had the red and silver mokume gane polymer clay components on my work table for over a year!  last week I finally made up the smaller set into a pair of earrings for myself, and wrapped them in silver wire with an inbuilt bail so that I didn’t have to drill a hole through them.  I’m really happy with them, and the resin on top of the clay makes is shine nicely.

Yesterday I finally took the plunge and made up the larger focal piece into a necklace, I attached the chain to the focal by filling a link with resin and setting it on the back.  I’m still not completely happy with the chain going all the way around the neck, as it seems to sit a little stiffly, so I may have to change that at a later date.  Maybe half chain links and the other half double strand tubing.  I also made up the middle pair of focals into earrings, again attaching handmade wire bails (to hang the hooks through) on the back with resin.

I also remade the ring – prior to yesterday it was swirly wire and pearls, but I never really liked it very much.  I carefully unwound the swirls of wire, and then reshaped them to hold the handmade glass cabachon.  During this process I got the balance point for the “stone” slightly off, so it is heavier on one end than the other, but I don’t think the gold-wire is up to me unwinding it again to reset the cabachon.  I can live with it.

Last week I also played with the three pendants shown here, each has been created using “Prisme” Pebeo Paint.  I love how the metallic paints works itself out into patterns, however I have to fight my inclination to push it around and mess up the patterns – so I am trying to learn patience.  If you mix 2 different colours (as in the triangle pendant) you can get interesting effects depending on which paint floats and which sinks.  I think my favourites is the diamond pendant, these aren’t my normal choice of colours but I think they work really well and the soft tones compliment the “cell” effect.

Today  I’ve been playing with some other things, and have part completed a couple of other pendants, but that’s a story for another day!

The Grandson Nap

I don’t want to go to sleep Mum,
I’m really not that tired,
I don’t want to go to sleep Mum,
I just want to rub my eyes!

I don’t want to snuggle on your lap,
but if you lay me on the floor,
I shall cry and grumble,
in that voice you can’t ignore!

I don’t want to go to sleep Mum,
I’m not tired, you know I’m not,
I don’t want to go to sleep Mum,
please don’t put me in my cot!

I don’t want to suck my dummy,
or cuddle with Batman,
What you doing now, Mum?,
Oh, you’ve given me to Gran.

I don’t want to go to sleep Granma,
While you hold me in your arms,
What you talking ’bout Granma?
when you say “he wriggles like a worm”?

I didn’t mean to shut my eyes
I’ll rub them once again,
oh look, you’ve got my Batman,
please, can I have my friend?

OK, I’ll have a cuddle now,
while I fly him round my head,
and can you rock and pat me,
’cause I think it’s time for bed.

16/1/2017

A Change is just a change

I’m stymied and stumped, my freshness has fled,
it’s covered by the dust-bunnies that live in my head.
I’ve been racking my brains for a new way to blog
but my thoughts have been dampened by low lying fog.

I don’t want to mimic what others have done,
no weak copies here, that wouldn’t be fun.
I’ve been having some trouble with this kind of dream,
so I thought: take the easy road – search for a theme!

Well, I must be theme-jaded, I clicked through a lot,
but none of them shone like the cream of the crop.
I feel kind of boring for not tweaking my page,
but a new set of templates it seems is not what I crave.

I want something new, that glistens and shines,
like frosted cobwebs, or dew-sparkled vines.
A fresh way of showing you things that I like,
a newness as sharp as the stars in the night.

Until it arrives, I am sorry to say,
you’re stuck with me and my boring old ways.
So no news from me, of new things to see,
as the year ticks further on into January.

I’ve not given up on this idea of mine,
I’ll go on with my thinking, and a thought I might find,
and perchance I should brainwave a startling plan,
be assured I’ll advise you as soon as I can.

© ceenoa

Reality – A Short Paragraph Story

Da and Ma always said they felt the whole world had an opinion about their life, but they didn’t let it bother them too much.  They had a sense of humour, and they used it to gently poke back at those people and their opinions, but sometimes it’s hard for me to appreciate their humour when they made my name their poking stick.  Yep, I’m Exploi Ted, the child of Da Ted and Ma Ted, Reality TV stars!