Underneath my skin, vicious things lie
green envy
red rage
white pain
blue loneliness
they wriggle like worms
dug up from the dirt
trying to burrow back to the haven of the dark
as they scrabble in their desperate turmoil to not be seen
they create, in one ridiculously sublime moment
a pattern of iridescent colour
green
red
white
blue
Underneath my skin, beauty lies
© ceenoa
* In an attempt to make something dark more palatable, I amended the original poem to a more positive ending – sometimes I even believe it*
The Original Version
Vicious things lie underneath my skin
green envy
red rage
white pain
blue loneliness
they wriggle like worms
dug up from the dirt
trying to burrow back to the haven of the dark
as they scrabble in their desperate turmoil to not be seen
they create, in one ridiculously sublime moment
a pattern of iridescent colour that hides the dirty truth
green envy
red rage
white pain
blue loneliness
Underneath my skin, vicious things lie
© ceenoa
Great poem! I think on refelection I prefer the original ending, but it certainly works either way 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks muchly Ruth. I think the original is more true to how I was feeling.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Beautiful. Although I would have liked to have read the original ending, I still love this.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Scroll down the post, I have put it in there.
LikeLiked by 1 person
They both work remarkably well. But the original speaks much more to me.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I think that is because that was how I was feeling when I wrote it – it got imbued in the words. Then I decided that it might be a bit dark for some, and rewrote it with a positive spin. Just glad you liked it. 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
The beauty of the poem IS that in works for whatever mood you’re in. But I also love the fact that you paid thought to your readers by writing an alternative ending. 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Well, just cause I’m in a place doesn’t mean I need to drag everyone else there too (plus, sometimes I like to wallow on my own)!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Oh, and thanks for the beautiful 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Either way works – depends on the day! I have to say we all have both – the vicious and the beautiful- and some days one shows more than the other. Hope today the was full of beauty and the vicious things lay still.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks Sis. Sometimes we get both – in the same dy 🙂
LikeLike
This resonates. Will resonate with many. Whether darkest or lighter the ending will rather depend on the reader’s mood …. I like the choice.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks Osyth. Sometimes it is hard to decide which way to go – so I just decided to offer both – life is about balance after all!
LikeLiked by 1 person
And the eternal quest thereof 😉
LikeLiked by 1 person