***My brain just won’t let this one go, it nagged at me today, (don’t be so wordy, make it cleaner, simpler, distil it down) so I had to rewrite it again. I promise, this is the last time, a variation of three is more than enough.
Somewhere,
out there,
you may be.
Walking around,
the unknown part,
of me.
© ceenoa
P.S. even as I typed it, the words changed again – this one is slippery!
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The reduction works sublimely. The essence distilled.
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Oh, thank you. Glad it worked for you too.
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It IS even better – really, really exquisite in it’s simplicity. The Haiku writers that abound in this blogging place would do well to take note of what real minimalism and real economy of words can produce. Chapeau to you!
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I am so pleased you think so. I did follow a haiku challenge for a while, and I really did enjoy it a lot. I also used to do another challenge where you had to use “42” words, I even won a “newcomer” award for one of my mine. I enjoyed both of those, because you had to be sparse with the letters. 🙂
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I love ‘New Fraction’ but the simplicity of this actually hits me more. I would happily read all three variations of this beautiful poem.
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So you’re saying you love me more when I talk less? 🙂 😉 Funny you should say that about the three, I was only thinking I might post them all together so the progression would be clear – maybe another time though, too much maths can do your head in. 🙂
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OR I was saying that the simplicity of your words convey so much meaning…yeah…that sounds good, let’s go with that one…;)
I do hope that at some point, you share al three. It would be goo to see the progression of each one. 🙂
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yeah, ..let’s go with that 🙂
Maybe I will share 3 – I will have to ponder that.
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Slippery, but perfect…until you change it again, my friend.
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Ah, thanks so much for you very kind words. I think this one is done now (I hope). 🙂
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It doesn’t matter how many times a verse that eats away at your mind and heart is composed, changed and rearranged. What matters is the feeling you put into it and the feeling it engenders in others. keep writing, rewriting, until you are happy and at peace with what is before you.
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Thanks Mum. I kind of like the last one, it can be taken a couple of different ways (at least to my mind) which does capture what I feel. Sometimes I would like to find another part – mostly not though.
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Beautifully executed!
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Hi Paul, thanks for your lovely comment. Always nice to have a new person appreciate my words. I’ve had a quick look at yours, and I am intrigued (love the About You page concept – some of those questions have my fingers are itching to respond).
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Oh, I’d love it you’d do an “About You” post! I’ve been enjoying your blog, too! You’re quite talented!
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{blushing} – thank you. Glad you are enjoying my blog.
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Slippery to you maybe but I thought it was simply wonderful.
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Miriam, thank you for your very kind comment. Hope you have a great day.
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Thanks Claudette. You too! 💕
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A delight to read. Sometimes we feel like we want to be someone else. Or we have the potential to be someone else but just don’t know it yet. It takes time to discover ourselves and in order to do so, we have to get up, try and take the plunge.
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Yes, that is true Mabel. Thanks for your thoughtful words. 🙂
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