Yesterday I committed a good deed, I committed a murder!
I committed a murder, in mitigation I state that there was no particular malice aforethought, but there was a tiny bit of premeditation before the hit.
My kind heart forced me in to it, because no matter how many people they asked, no-one else would assist the ladies who stood quivering and squealing on the petrol station driveway. Being too afraid to kill him themselves, they had abandoned their car to the victim.
So, yes, I killed him. I hit him so hard that he was reduced to a pile of gooey smear on the cement. I trod on his corpse. I whacked him again for good measure, said “Not a problem” to the ladies, and walked off to my car. My conscience did not pain me at all, and the ladies I did this good deed for were exceptionally happy, got in their car and drove off, leaving the body behind.
I say this with no pleasure, but if you need a hit and a whack, a murder in fact, I can sometimes be counted on the do the business – but only if the victim has 8 legs!
p.s No photos were taken in the course of this post – that would be just gross.