“On this Day” Repost – Getting away with Murder!

I am enjoying my little Facebook “on This Day” reminders – seems I was pretty prolific in April three years ago (I was doing the Zero to Hero blogging course too). Anyway, this one came up today, and it still amuses me because ….well, you will see if you read on.  The original post is here.

*********************************************************

Yesterday I committed a good deed, I committed a murder!

I committed a murder, in mitigation I state that there was no particular malice aforethought, but there was a tiny bit of premeditation before the hit.

My kind heart forced me in to it, because no matter how many people they asked, no-one else would assist the ladies who stood quivering and squealing on the petrol station driveway.  Being too afraid to kill him themselves, they had abandoned their car to the victim.

So, yes, I killed him.  I hit him so hard that he was reduced to a pile of gooey smear on the cement.  I trod on his corpse.  I whacked him again for good measure, said “Not a problem” to the ladies, and walked off to my car.  My conscience did not pain me at all, and the ladies I did this good deed for were exceptionally happy, got in their car and drove off, leaving the body behind.

I say this with no pleasure, but if you need a hit and a whack, a murder in fact, I can sometimes be counted on the do the business –  but only if the victim has 8 legs!

p.s  No photos were taken in the course of this post – that would be just gross.

**********************************

This amuses me because I have had a life long intense dislike of spiders, particularly Huntsman, and yet I had no qualms about helping these ladies out.  I guess when I became a Mother I changed, as someone had to kill the spiders, and it wasn’t going to be my children!

Advertisements

20 thoughts on ““On this Day” Repost – Getting away with Murder!

  1. Dick Dastardly 11/04/2017 / 10:29 pm

    Hahaha. Lovely story and lovely comments.
    I am the executioner in our house. Everyone else, including my two ‘macho’ sons, freaks out at the sight of a spider. If I’m not there the dog stamps on them.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Claudette 12/04/2017 / 7:01 pm

      I like your dogs attitude. 🙂 Thank you for your kind words of support for my little story. Here’s to more spider-cide as needed.

      Liked by 1 person

    • Dick Dastardly 12/04/2017 / 7:24 pm

      I must admit that on most occasions that a spider makes an appearance I tend to pick it up and chuck it out the door. Its why there are conkers inside every door and window in our house because they are supposed to stop spiders coming in. It also stops them leaving! We once had a spider so big that when it walked across a sheet of paper my kids had left on the floor you could hear its footsteps! It disappeared under the tv. Still there as far as I know. Dare not tell the family.

      Liked by 1 person

      • Claudette 12/04/2017 / 7:31 pm

        Eeek, I’m never visiting you with a spider that big hanging around. Probably has a whole tribe os spiderlets by now just waiting to take over you whole house.
        P.S. What are “conkers”? Conkers are seed things that grow on trees here, – oh, do you mean things to bash spiders with?

        Liked by 1 person

        • Dick Dastardly 12/04/2017 / 8:01 pm

          Thats right. Conkers. Grow on conker trees. Brown things. Apparently spiders dont like them so my lot have put them all over the bloody house! Great when you suck one or several up the vacumn cleaner hosepipe and blocks it. Takes forever to get the buggers out again. Spiders have a lot to answer for. On a similar note, PIL tried to vacumn up a big spider and it hung onto the hose pipe and, thinking she’d vacumned it up, PIL switch it off and out he popped and ran off while PIL screamed.

          Liked by 1 person

          • Dick Dastardly 12/04/2017 / 8:13 pm

            Why have I spelt ‘vacuum’ with a ‘n’? Must have my idiot head on today.
            Have a lovely day.

            Liked by 1 person

          • Claudette 13/04/2017 / 9:08 am

            The bit about the vacuum made me laugh – sorry PIL. I’ve done that with washing them down the bathplug – apparently they can swim really well!. Interesting little know fact about conkers then 🙂

            Like

  2. Su Leslie 12/04/2017 / 5:18 am

    Lovely! I try not to kill the spiders and insects that come into the house (with the exception of ants — double yuk). I usually manage catch-and-release, but I guess our spiders aren’t poisonous.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Claudette 12/04/2017 / 7:03 pm

      Hi Su, these aren’t poisonous, just big and long legged hairy and look mean. I have a toleration policy of small spiders in my home, but ones that look to nasty get the boot. My youngest has taken to catch and release lately, so I am spared the dirty deed of murder at home mostly.

      Like

  3. Brian Lageose 12/04/2017 / 7:34 am

    Such carnage and mayhem! 😉 (Cute story, though, especially the little “killer for hire” advert jingle at the end…)

    Liked by 1 person

    • Claudette 12/04/2017 / 7:03 pm

      Glad you like my advert. I have very reasonable travel rates – you pay them all! 😉

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Lily 12/04/2017 / 3:25 pm

    I have been known to seriously consider burning my house to the ground to get rid of ONE spider. My sister however, practically offers them a cup of tea and a sandwich before escorting them back outside and asking them to “come visit soon.”

    Liked by 2 people

    • Claudette 12/04/2017 / 7:05 pm

      🙂 My youngest has taken to the latter “catch and release” method also – but bugs are their “kill it, now” trigger. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  5. bythebriny 14/04/2017 / 3:26 am

    I’m a “catch and releaser” — the only time they seem to come in the house is in the fall.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Claudette 14/04/2017 / 10:05 am

      I am starting to lean that way – I am sure that one day when the aliens come I will have retribution passed on me for the wanton killing of spiders, so I must repent now and practice tolerance 😉

      Liked by 1 person

  6. peacekathure 15/04/2017 / 2:36 pm

    What a great story! I love the twist towards the end…gave me an “oh, thank God, it’s not a person” moment :)) You have such a gift in storytelling!!

    Liked by 1 person

Happiness is kind words from a friend .....

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s