Feathers breaking,
dreams unseen,
a heart dissolved in rich, red wine.
An empty home,
a memory lost,
the seasons circling endlessly.
The maelstroms’ eye,
each fallen leaf,
a spider spinning her new web.
All is louder still,
than this endless,
silent scream.
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Every line in this is a joy – great metaphor use. Loved the ebb and flow achieved in so few words.
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What a lovely compliment, thank you.
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Very nicely crafted. Each word is precise–leading to the uber-powerful last line. I like this one a lot!
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the wizards word is humbly accepted. Thank you.
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Love the coupling of tangible descriptions with intangible things (feathers/dreams, homes/memory). Gives me the sense of a camera focusing on a minute detail and then backing away to capture a broad image. This is a nimble poem 🙂
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Thank you Nate. It’s always interesting to hear what others find in what I write. I admit that what mostly happens is that I write, with no intention other than some words, and then I see it in a different view through the comments left behind.
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I understand that, Claudette. I unintentionally did something clever in my gargleblaster this week. Didn’t notice it till someone called it out for me. 🙂
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Ooh, must check it out.
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All these “sounds” of silence…beautiful and poignant take on the prompt.
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(one of my favorites so far)
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🙂 I am happy you think so.
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Silence definitely does have it’s ow sound. If you try and listen really hard there is a sound in your head, at least in mine.
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The sounds echo in every line and come together in the elegant, last paragraph. Beautiful.
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I appreciate your comment, thank you.
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whoa. that last line. it packs a punch.
sorrowful but sweet.
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I should like to punch that scream – it’s been stuck in my head for days and days.
Thanks for your positive comments.
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Love the sound of the first stanza, and the implications of the last. Lovely.
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Thank you for your thoughtful comment.
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So much pain and so much being said without being said in that last line. Beautiful!
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Thank you Shailaja, That is the truth in the last line, pain that cannot be expressed any other way.
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wow to all and especially that last line. beautiful use of language!
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That is a lovely comment Jen, thank you.
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Wow!!! Wonderful use of words.
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Thank you. Isn’t Wow a wonderful word,as it conveys so much is so few letters.
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I completely agree. 🙂
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Nicely done. I love the imagery you use.
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Glad that you liked it. Thank you for taking the time to comment.
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