It is Not

Feathers breaking,
dreams unseen,
a heart dissolved in rich, red wine.

An empty home,
a memory lost,
the seasons circling endlessly.

The maelstroms’ eye,
each fallen leaf,
a spider spinning her new web.

All is louder still,
than this endless,
silent scream.

27 responses to “It is Not”

  1. Every line in this is a joy – great metaphor use. Loved the ebb and flow achieved in so few words.

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    1. What a lovely compliment, thank you.

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  2. Very nicely crafted. Each word is precise–leading to the uber-powerful last line. I like this one a lot!

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    1. the wizards word is humbly accepted. Thank you.

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  3. Love the coupling of tangible descriptions with intangible things (feathers/dreams, homes/memory). Gives me the sense of a camera focusing on a minute detail and then backing away to capture a broad image. This is a nimble poem 🙂

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    1. Thank you Nate. It’s always interesting to hear what others find in what I write. I admit that what mostly happens is that I write, with no intention other than some words, and then I see it in a different view through the comments left behind.

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      1. I understand that, Claudette. I unintentionally did something clever in my gargleblaster this week. Didn’t notice it till someone called it out for me. 🙂

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        1. Ooh, must check it out.

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  4. Jennifer G. Knoblock Avatar
    Jennifer G. Knoblock

    All these “sounds” of silence…beautiful and poignant take on the prompt.

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    1. Jennifer G. Knoblock Avatar
      Jennifer G. Knoblock

      (one of my favorites so far)

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      1. 🙂 I am happy you think so.

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    2. Silence definitely does have it’s ow sound. If you try and listen really hard there is a sound in your head, at least in mine.

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  5. The sounds echo in every line and come together in the elegant, last paragraph. Beautiful.

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    1. I appreciate your comment, thank you.

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  6. whoa. that last line. it packs a punch.
    sorrowful but sweet.

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    1. I should like to punch that scream – it’s been stuck in my head for days and days.
      Thanks for your positive comments.

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  7. KymmInBarcelona Avatar
    KymmInBarcelona

    Love the sound of the first stanza, and the implications of the last. Lovely.

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    1. Thank you for your thoughtful comment.

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  8. So much pain and so much being said without being said in that last line. Beautiful!

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    1. Thank you Shailaja, That is the truth in the last line, pain that cannot be expressed any other way.

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  9. wow to all and especially that last line. beautiful use of language!

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    1. That is a lovely comment Jen, thank you.

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  10. Wow!!! Wonderful use of words.

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    1. Thank you. Isn’t Wow a wonderful word,as it conveys so much is so few letters.

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      1. I completely agree. 🙂

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  11. Nicely done. I love the imagery you use.

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    1. Glad that you liked it. Thank you for taking the time to comment.

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Happiness is kind words from a friend …..

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