Ceenoa

You know how you have that vision, the one where you are laying back nibbling on chocolate, reading your favourite book or watching your favourite DVD, sipping wine and pretending that you are a real grown up adult, and basking in the glorious peaceful silence, the silence which is golden, of no person needing your attention.

Yeah, you know that one!

Well, I’m here to tell you it’s a soul-shattering sham, a fabricated fantastical fairytale, a complete crock of confabulation.

Maybe, just maybe, you enjoy it for a maximum of five minutes, and then it’s something like this:

why is my house so quiet and empty?
why do I have such a large house anyway?
is this what it will be like when I’m old and by myself?
I don’t want to get old and live by myself, who will I talk to?
I’m allergic to cats so how can I be the crazy, muttering, cat lady when I get old?
Why can’t I stop thinking about the fact that I’m thinking about being old and alone?

Marshmallows, marshmallows, marshmallows

what if something has happened to her?
what if she needs me?
what if she doesn’t need me?

Marshmallows, marshmallows, marshmallows

why is there nothing to eat?
why is my metabolism not working?
why don’t I actually have chocolate and wine?
how many times do you have to eat vegetables anyway?
is it ok to have a peanut butter sandwich for tea again tonight?

Marshmallows, marshmallows, marshmallows

COME HOME, I CAN”T MAKE IT BY MYSELF, I”M ONLY 49!!!

P.S if you’re wondering about the marshmallows, they are what I think about when I don’t want to think about something. Denial/Avoidance works well when I say the word, sometimes if I need extra oomph in a D/A situation I will go further and visualise their fluffy gooiness!
HEY, it works for me!