The Loo

WARNING:     If you don’t like “toilet” humour (and I mean that literally) – move along now! 

This verse has been nagging me to write it for days since the “visit”- so I finally gave in and decided to traumatise you all as well. 

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there’s a poo in my loo!
it had been well hid, till I lifted the lid,
and a poo in the loo,
when you go for a wee, is not something you want to see.

oh, that poo in the loo,
who left it there? and do I really care?
but the poo in the loo,
says they need a lesson, in remembering to push the button!

so the door to the room of the poo in my loo
now displays note, on which I wrote:
you left a poo in my loo –
next time don’t rush, and remember to FLUSH!

© ceenoa

I skipped the visuals for this one – it just seemed the appropriate thing to do!

 

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Inventive Language

I’m thinking about recording a new language – I’ve got 2 words so far this week!  (I didn’t say it was going to be a very verbose language, now did I?)

Of course, you may have already had some exposure to the first word in my new language, from this post earlier in the week, and I am glad to report that “irky” seems to have been well received.  By the way, it is pronounced irk-ee? (and it absolutely must have the rising inflection emphasis of the question mark on the ee, otherwise it just sounds silly!)

So, pluffelled (ooh, there’s another word – now I have 3) up with the exuberance for new words, my brain threw this one up/out tonight:

SPLODDELLED  (splod-delled)

For those folks who might be having trouble grasping the meaning of this fine new word – and let’s face it, who wouldn’t – I have bunged it into some context in the following sentence:   “I sploddelled my wine on my desk when I lifted up the glass too fast”.
Yes, fine linguists everywhere, cringe at the monstrosity that is my brain trying to describe events of wine spillage!

Oh, and in case you might be wondering about my third word, pluffelled (pluff-elled), which I just birthed above – it means “puffed up like a proud peacock displaying it’s plumage”. Sounds exactly like that, don’t you think?

So, there you have it – 3 new words for my brand new language – now I only need to find a name for my language, any suggestions?

Thoughtless Unplugging

I’m on the third night of no broadband internet connection, and this is how it happened:

the urge to move the furniture
came suddenly upon me,
alas the urge caused failure
of the internet connection thingy!

“““““““
my modem is senile
it’s forgot who it is
now it can’t do it’s duty
because of this.

i pulled out the plugs
without flicking the switch
one small unthought action
has now caused a big hitch!

the modem’s not working
won’t connect like it ought
and now the last option is to call
“Tech Support”.

there’s a 40 minute call queue
before I get to point 1
then another 40 minute waiting
till I can get something done.

I’ve given it up as a bad job tonight
so I’m writing my blog via my mobile’s “hotspot”
and rueing that wilfull unplugging
which caused internet loss!

Apologies to Banjo

There was movement in the paddock, for the sight had got around
that the chick from Old Ma White had got away
and had joined the wild bush turbo hens – she was worth 5 cents all told,
predictably no neighbours had gathered to the fray.
For they didn’t care for livestock, which they let wander anywhere
and it made me wild to see their disregard,
for I’d oft had to remove their livestock from my garden and my lawn,
and chasing goats and chooks just makes me mad.

© ceenoa

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If you have never read the poem “The Man From Snowy River” by A.B. “Banjo” Paterson- which was one of my all-time favourite poems as a younger person, I could recite all 13 verse by memory at one stage – do yourself a favour and check it out here.

Book Review: Barb Taub “Life Begins When The Kids Leave Home And The Dog Dies”

Upfront bit:  I received a free copy of Barbs’ new book ” Life Begins When The Kids Leave Homes And The Dog Dies” – available on Amazon – in exchange for my promise to do a review.  I have been a  little delayed, (sorry Barb), but have caught up with it today.

Please pardon by lack of “review cleverness” in the following, I would love to be able to write a clever piece, but I’m just not good at that sort of thing, so it’s just plain English from me.

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I enjoyed this selection of short stories by Barb, as she writes in an easy to read, witty manner. Reading them was like dipping into your favourite sweets, knowing that you will enjoy them whatever you choose.

Some made me laugh out loud, some made me thoughtful, and one even made me a little sad – but underlying all that was the “feel-good” factor of indulging in a few moments of pure reading happiness.

This is a lovely collection of well-written, funny short stories. A great read for any place and any time.

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If you haven’t caught up with Barb’s blog yet, do yourself a favour and hop over there to indulge in some good old-fashioned wit and laugh out loud moments.  She really knows how to write about life’s little quirks in a way that is guaranteed to make you smile.

“On This Day” Repost – Question 34: Hair – (Delilah & the Beanie)

Good old FB – throwing up another of my weird wonderings from this day in 2015.  

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Hair.

That stuff that sticks out of our skin, often where we don’t want it, but mainly on our head.  Sometimes we get upset when it doesn’t stick out of our skin (but that’s mainly Men, and they are a notoriously contradictory species)!

Short, long, curly, straight, blonde, brunette, redhead, grey –  it’s usually there just hanging around, doing it’s thing – or not – depending on the weather, how you slept, what time you got up this morning and if there was any goop left in your styling product container of choice!

It may seem like an innocent thing, but have you considered that your hair actually has a secret agenda?  Yep, you read me, a secret agenda, take a minute and consider the following scenario …

You get out of bed, your short hair is tousled (say that word a few times and you come to doubt your understanding of English) in an attractive “I don’t give a hoot what you think – I love it” way, and off you go to work feeling like you’re made of steel – nothing will get to you today.  Your hair is your strength and will protect you from the sneers of trend-setter Delilah in HR (especially because you don’t go to sleep at work – unlike stupid Samson – and also because you stole her scissors yesterday).

OR

You get out of bed, your short hair is sticking out at an angle that would make an isosceles triangle blush.  No amount of goop will make it stick down, and there is a disconcerting idea forming in your mind that you maybe should just stick a beanie on your head and be done with it.  You just know it is going to be the day that the very attractive person, who has been hanging around long-haired, perfectly coiffured Delilah in HR, comes over to talk to you.  This will cause you to wish that you HAD worn the beanie so you could pretend that;
a) Facebook asked you to wear your beanie at work to show support for {insert your football team of choice} or,
b) that your Great Aunt, who just lost the last of her hair to Chemo and asked you to wear the Beanie as a sign of family solidarity.
Unfortunately you didn’t choose the beanie, and you look like a reject from the “Fastest Sheep Sheared by a Novice” contest.

SEE, your hair has dictated your mood, personality and ability to think of plausible reasons for wearing/not wearing a beanie.

Not buying it yet – ok, what about this.

Silky, soft, shiny, short, smart, spiky, sophisticated, stylish, sexy (weird how many “s” words describe hair).

Comb-over, Blue rinse, Split ends, fly away, wind blown, coarse, mousy, greasy (apply them to a description about your hair and see how you feel).

What does your hair say about you? It’s out there – and there’s no keeping it under the hat!

 

Reblog – Time – it’s not what you think it is!

Just thought I’d share this post from my Business Blog (which I have be woefully neglecting of late, you can read the full post by clicking on the link below. Should you wish to comment you can do so on whichever on my Blogs you feel moved to. Hope you enjoy it.

Just to pass some time, here are some fun tidbits courtesy of Google (via Buzzfeed). The smallest standard scientific measure of time is the “Planck time“. It takes you about five hundred and fifty thousand trillion trillion trillion Planck times to blink once, quickly. No wonder I get so tired when I blink my eyes […]

via Time – it’s not what you think it is! — A Handful of Time

Not the C F Lullaby

Dear Bloggy-friend Lily, I promised you a lullaby, and I had composed a cracker of one driving to work on Tuesday, but as usual I had forgotten it by the time I was anywhere I could write it down.  All I remember now was that I was going to call it “The C F Lullaby”.  The C F was optional as to what it might signify, there were a couple of thoughts running through my head, and doubtless through yours also – please feel free to assign them at your leisure.

Anyway, the C F Lullaby has been lost to the swervy pathways of my verse-riddled brain, and this is what I came up with tonight.  It is nowhere as elegant as the first that I thought of – (I can safely say that as no-one other than me actually knows what I thought first, and all I can remember now is the feel of it – a bit clever, a bit neat, a bit soporific) – but I offer it in good faith, and great wishes that it may induce a state of  boredom, which will lead to sleep, if you read it enough times!

Hush painful body, please don’t make me cry,
I don’t have the energy, and you know that’s not a lie.
Please just let me lay here and try to go to sleep,
you know I’m over counting all the bloody sheep.

Hush aching body, relax here on the bed,
forget about the worries filling up my head.
Ignore my restless legs with an agenda of their own,
all I want to do now is find the sleep zone.

Hush stupid body, you make me feel so mad,
for all the things I cannot do, since I lost the life I had.
I’ve only got one purpose now, to sleep the night away,
so I can wake up with some energy to face another day.

Hush sleepy body, I am very thankful that,
we made it through the day somehow, and had this little chat.
So this same time tomorrow, when its time to sleep,
don’t make me sing this song again before unconsciousness I meet.

The Button

It’s little things that push,
the buttons that say “don’t”,
you always think you’ll know,
but you really ever won’t.
There’s just the hiss of vacuum,
as the air goes rushing out,
when the button touches circuits,
that say “now it’s time to shout”.
And after it’s all over,
and the button has popped back,
you’ll wonder what just happened,
as you angst upon the rack.

© ceenoa

P.S.  I am absolutely fine, this is not me writing about how I feel just now (although I do admit to it sometimes happening to me).  No, this is just how my rhyme-brain works sometimes!   I was just peacefully playing a game of Solitaire on the computer and this demanded to be written.  And, so I did.  I don’t want to push the button!

Reblog – I’ve been Thinking …. Determination

When is “Determination” a thinly veiled disguise for “Stubborn”?  With me, the defining line is extremely thin.

You can read all about it by clicking on the link below.  Should you wish to leave comments you can leave them on whichever on my Blogs you please, here or there.

Sometimes my determination to DO something is a good thing. Well, maybe it is more of a stubborn streak to be truthful, but “determination” is a much nicer sounding word to attribute to my need to get things done. Take, for example, my dripping mixer tap on my bathroom vanity. It had been dripping from […]

via I’ve been thinking ….. Determination — A Handful of Time