He wasn’t much of gentleman, she wasn’t much of lady, so after first hello’s they got straight to making a baby. She had some eggs, and he had some worms, and when they put them together mud-cake baby was born!
She couldn’t believe how much red there was on her hands, and dripping off the thin knife still held in them. Anger now cooled, she watched as each droplet hit the floor with a small explosion of startling violence, and thought how beautiful the pattern was that it created. Shaking her head at her dreaming, she wondered what she should do now. “Have I really killed you?” she mused, “No, for where there is Death, there is Life”, and she swiped her palette knife over the canvas and a fresh colourful creation was born.
This story has been percolating in my brain for a month or more. Thankfully this challenge post from Brian brought it to the boil when he sent me my 3 words yesterday: startling, colourful, explosion. As soon as I got them I knew that they fit this short paragraph story, and so, here it is.
Upfront bit: I received a free copy of Barbs’ new book ” Life Begins When The Kids Leave Homes And The Dog Dies” – available on Amazon – in exchange for my promise to do a review. I have been a little delayed, (sorry Barb), but have caught up with it today.
Please pardon by lack of “review cleverness” in the following, I would love to be able to write a clever piece, but I’m just not good at that sort of thing, so it’s just plain English from me.
I enjoyed this selection of short stories by Barb, as she writes in an easy to read, witty manner. Reading them was like dipping into your favourite sweets, knowing that you will enjoy them whatever you choose.
Some made me laugh out loud, some made me thoughtful, and one even made me a little sad – but underlying all that was the “feel-good” factor of indulging in a few moments of pure reading happiness.
This is a lovely collection of well-written, funny short stories. A great read for any place and any time.
If you haven’t caught up with Barb’s blog yet, do yourself a favour and hop over there to indulge in some good old-fashioned wit and laugh out loud moments. She really knows how to write about life’s little quirks in a way that is guaranteed to make you smile.
I never expected to fall in love again. Certainly not with a younger man, and especially not with a younger man who speaks a different language! There are moments when I seriously question my judgement; like when I notice his disregard for bodily hygiene, and his undeveloped table manners. Oh, but when he smiles and hugs me my heart blossoms and overflows with happiness and I find I can forgive him anything – after all a baby grandson is a precious miracle.
There’s a leak, a trickle of drips. I try to calculate the time between each, wondering idly if there is rhythm to their falling. But it is erratic; sometimes a staccato of drips, then a plop of drops, or a slow slithery splat. Suddenly the curtain of approaching rain reaches my house, drumming on the iron roof it sounds like I imagine gravel in a blender does. Just as quickly the spring squall passes, and I focus again on the leak. My child has a cold, I find them a clean hanky.
There always seem to be those unexpected, unwanted, visitors that just drop in on you. They never let you know they are coming, so you are not prepared for their arrival. It doesn’t matter if your house is spotless, and you’re wearing your best clothes, their unannounced descent upon your home causes everything to look shabby, dismal, bleak and untidy. Next time, Mel an’ Collie, I’m slamming the door in your faces.
Da and Ma always said they felt the whole world had an opinion about their life, but they didn’t let it bother them too much. They had a sense of humour, and they used it to gently poke back at those people and their opinions, but sometimes it’s hard for me to appreciate their humour when they made my name their poking stick. Yep, I’m Exploi Ted, the child of Da Ted and Ma Ted, Reality TV stars!
I carefully lifted it out of the box and gazed in awe at the perfect yellow gold band . I held it between my fingers and marveled at it’s texture. I thought of my hopes and dreams as I slipped it on my finger. I admired it’s perfect fit as I held my hand out before me. Quickly, before I could regret it, I popped it in my mouth and swallowed – I just can’t resist a Cheezel!
Ever since I heard, there’s been this impending sense of DOOM. Stupid really, as it’s only a minuscule thing now and I won’t be able to notice anything for a good while yet. But I know! It is coming, there is no escape from it and it must be faced. I’m trying to be positive, but it’s hard as I imagine time getting shorter each day. How could we possibly be past the longest day already!
I cannot sit where you sat, there is still too much you left behind. I saw you there everyday, basking in the sun, warm with contentment. I envied you and jealously wished I had the same opportunity to sit, quiet and still and relaxed. Now your seat is empty, and it beckons me, calls to me, but the consequences would be too much, teary eyes and runny nose. So, I shall not sit in your seat, your space will not be taken – cat fur does not agree with me.